221. Sleep Deprived
Sleep threatening
From all sides.
The mere droaning
Dulls my senses.
If only I'm allowed
To go back to bed...
But I'm not,
Am I?

220. Trax (Originally written 8.21.02)
Crowded, cramed. Ugh.
I think I'd like to be home.
We're sardines on Trax.

219. Final Day of Nothing (Originally written 8.20.02)
On this final day of nothing,
I want to sleep in
And do every last thing
That doesn't require doing.
Sigh.

218. Eh
Well, you know
That's just the way
Things are.
Don't like it?
Put up,
Shut up--
Or do something about it.
Don't complain to me.

217. Phoenix (Originally written 8.18.02)
Phoenix crying its pain
Above the roaring flames.
Pain is forgotten.

216. There's a Cheap Trick (Originally written 8.17.02)
Don't care how you cut it.
Cheap is cheap,
And that is cheap.
Honestly:
what did you think
You would accomplish?

215. ??? (Originally written 8.16.02)
Confuse, twist--
Whatever you want--
But dont' do it
With me.
Lie, cheat-
As you'd like--
But don't do it
Near me.

214. Look (Originally written 8.15.02)
You know youve
Gone far.
Not just here.
But why must
You try to
Make me feel so guilty?
Look at me
And yourself.
Give me a break.

213. Moment (Originally written 8.14.02)
Cold sweat,
My hand shanking.
Don't want to know...
But,
I must.

212. Really? (Originally written 8.13.02)
Twist it,
Burn it--
Yeah, you're great.
Look at how
You've hurt me.
And not just me.
Who do you think
Is crying for
Your blood?

211. Not Yet (Originally written 8.12.02)
A little longer
And everything's fine.
A small bit--
Nothing big.
That work,
That love--
Tell me it
At least means something.
Or am I
Just complaining?

209. Neon Crossing (Originally written 8.10.02)
Tubes of painful light
In this darkness--
Unfair attacks on
My smarting eyes.
Soon, a pillow
Will be under my head.

Note: This is the last of the "Our Lady Peace" poems. Managed to do all the songs on their albums. Whew.

210. No (Originally written 8.11.02)
Strained, unhappy, misunderstood--
I cry out against
These crimes.
My mind twists,
Rebelling.
How can it be?
How?

208. Under Zenith (Originally written 8.9.02)
To get so close and
To fail now would be folly.
Please. Just keep going.

207. Julia (Originally written 8.8.02)
Love that caused a death--
Your own, his own.
Can't help but wonder--
Was it worth it?

206. Is it Safe? (Originally written 8.7.02)
Is it ever?
Really, truly?
Was there ever a time
You could walk
Unafraid?

205. Denied (Originally written 8.6.02)
Truly forgotten,
Even by those
Who once held you dear.
Love, respect--
Everything, denied you.

204. Dirty Walls (Originally written 8.5.02)
Written on these walls,
The accounts of many lives.
Bright spray-paint is all.

203. Naveed (Originally written 8.4.02)
Strong beat,
Pulling me into
A tide of music.
I close my eyes,
Moving with it.

202. Hope (Originally written 8.3.02)
When everything else
Has faded and gone away.
There, like a deep scar.

201. Starseed (Originally written 8.2.02)
Shock of bright light
Assaults the senses.
Light in a seed.

200. Supersatellite (Originally written 8.1.02)
Broadcasting only
Twisted half-truths
And partial non-truths.

199. The Birdman (Originally written 7.31.02)
Aone,
Stretching out
His spindly arms.
He might think he
Can fly
Away from it all.

It's always
The same.

198. Car Crash (Originally written 7.30.02)
Ending everything.
Smiles, laughs--
All crushed,
On the side,
To be forgotten.
Dreams gone,
Realitly found
To be harsher than
Dreams ever promised.

197. The Story of 100 Aisles (Originally written 7.29.02)
All in a straight line.
A decision many-fold.
Sleep sounds much better.

196. Let You Down (Originally written 7.28.02)
Don't wanna fail--
Not for you.
Keep goin',
Keep fightin'.
But, really,
It's sometimes
Hard to do.

195. Hello Oskar (Originally written 7.27.02)
It ain't lovely,
Not even good.
So don't even try.
Say it--
"Good morning"--
And you're dead.

194. Clumsy (Originally written 7.26.02)
The words come,
WIth almost as much tact
As an egoist comparing
Himself with a failure.
I can't help it.

Would you rather
I lie?

193. Shaking (Originally written 7.25.02)
My hand, unbidden,
Shakes as it moves--
Can't form a letter,
Can't form a wordl.
The pain...
It's fierce.

192. 4am (Originally written 7.24.02)
Too cold,
Too early.
Life should be stopped
This early in the "day."
I only recognize
One 4 o'clock per day.
Don't think
This is it.

191. Big Dumb Rocket (Originally written 7.23.02)
Shoot yourself off--
Yeah,
You tihnk you're everything.
Ever think you
Are nothing?
'Cause,
Really,
That's what
You are.

190. Carnival (Originally written 7.22.02)
Bright lights filter through
The pitch blackness of the night.
Really quite ugly.

189. Automatic Flowers (Originally written 7.21.02)
Meaningless,
Like your prepared apology.
Oh, so you mean it?
Yeah, right.
I see no evidence
That you care.
Your flowers are
Automatic.

188. Superman's Dead (Originally written 7.20.02)
And, yes,
So is Superwoman.
Batman, too.
The world isn't
A place for
Superheroes.

187. Stealing Babies (Originally written 7.19.02)
Day after day,
Cold black box,
Boxing in those babies--
Another mind stolen,
Another brain mushed.
What's the point of
Creating machines
That destroy?

186. Consequence of Laughing (Originally written 7.18.02)
Ya know,
I really can't help it
If that's amusing.
Don't glower at me like that.

Oh, sure.
Swagger out of the room.
Of course you didn't
Do something ungraceful.

185. Annie (Originally written 7.17.02)
A small, lonely smile--
Daring the question of "why?"
It fades to nothing.

184. Lying Awake (Originally written 7.16.02)
I can feel
The sweat sticking in place--
Irreplaceable,
Uncomfortable.
The distant sound
Of a hissing sprinkler system
Only heightens teh tension.
Shifting, I stare
At the green,
Digital numbers.
It's only been 5 minutes?

183. Thief (Originally written 7.15.02)
You flash a grin,
Right before you
Steal my heart.

Just fooling.
I think you
Found my liver.

182. Waited (Originally written 7.14.02)
I sat,
Alone.
Waited
For someone--anyone.
But,
Alone,
I remained.
Silence
Ringing--
Unforgotten.

181. Is Anybody Home? (Originally written 7.13.02)
No. I don't think so.
I rather like it like that.
Empty smile--unforced.

180. Blister (Originally written 7.12.02)
You're nothing more than
A sore on my
Over-worked foot.
Causing pain.
I flinch,
Anticipating when
I'll destroy you.

179. Potato Girl (Originally written 7.11.02)
She only ever allows
A small, cautious smile
To grace her lips.
Nothing about her is known--
She never speaks.
But...
Did you ever think that
All it took was a
Simple "Hello"?

178. Happiness and the Fish (Originally written 7.10.02)
True happiness is
The fish gliding beneath waves.
Bloody hard to catch.

177. One Man Army (Originally written 7.9.02)
Armed only wiht wit,
Alone and exposed.
He scratches his head,
Glancing both ways...
And goes in for the attack.
Ah, yes.
The terrible menace of...
Which book to read next?

176. The Wonderful Future (Originally written 7.8.02)
She tilts her head,
Gazing up at the angry sun.
So hot but,
Despite all,
A smile forms.
Life is ahead of her,
If she can just keep going.

And not be hit by
The on-coming semi.

Splat.

175. If You Believe (Originally written 7.7.02)
They tell you
That faith is all that is
Necessary.
But it's so hard
To simply believe
When doubt swarms
Like a thousand flies.

174. All My Friends (Originally written 7.6.02)
They watch me,
From their pictures--
Big smiles hiding
True expressions.
But...
What makes a friend?
Really?

173. Everyone's a Junkie (Originally written 7.5.02)
Something shiny and tempting
Teases us all
Into temptation.
Wha'ts your addiction?

172. Made to Heal (Originally written 7.4.02)
You're here to help--
That's your purpose.
A fountain of
Undying wisdom.
You heal my pain.
And, finally,
I find myself
Smiling again.

171. Are You Sad? (Originally written 7.3.02)
The question echoes
And I can't answer.
Am I sad?
Am I happy?
I really don't know--
It could be either.
Something...
But what?
What is this feeling?
Am I sad?

170. Middle of Yesterday (Originally written 7.2.02)
Feels like I
Woke up yesterday--
Today the same,
Nothing changed.
Stuck in yesterday.
Will I see today?
Or tomorrow?

169. Life (Originally written 7.1.02)
Not much to it all.
Eat, sleep, drink, don't bother
None about details.

168. In Repair (Originally written 6.30.02)
You don't understand
So you shatter everything.
Cold and callous
I try to hold it together.
But Band-aids
Just don't cut it.
Hopefully I can
Repair the damage
You've done.

167. Right Behind You (Originally written 6.29.02)
Don't turn around--
You don't need to see me
TO know I'm here.
'Cause I'm always here,
Happy to see you,
With you.
So, don't worry.
I'm here.

166. A Story About a Girl (Originally written 6.28.02)
Lying, broken, on a bed.
Sobbing, wrenching--can't understand.
Everything around warped, cold, shattered.
She cries on,
Shaky hands supporting
Her hurting head.

165. Bring Back the Sun (Originally written 6.27.02)
Bring back my smile,
My summer.
This funk
Is going to kill me
Unless the sun
Comes back.
Someone, please,
Bring it back.

164. Sorry (Originally written 6.26.02)
For whatever,
For everything
That's my fault.
I'm not perfect--
Never claimed to be.
You just
Thought I was.

163. Sell My Soul (Originally written 6.25.02)
No reason not to--
I'm not using it,
And I don't imagine
I'll need it.
$50 should do it.

162. Not Enough (Originally written 6.24.02)
It's just not enough
For you to say,
"I'm sorry."
I can't even trust
Those simple words.
Try showing you care.
Just once.
And maybe
I'll listen.

161. Made of Steel (Originally written 6.23.02)
IN case you hadn't noticed,
I'm not made of steel--
I'm not that strong,
I could easily crack under
All this stress.
But do you see me
Giving up?
Not yet.
So why do you?

160. Innocent (Originally written 6.22.02)
Is that innocence
Really so wonderful?
A shield, guarding eyes
From the truth.
Deosn't it just
Blind those
Afflicted by it?
Innocence isn't everything.

159. Somewhere Out There (Originally written 6.21.02)
I imagine that,
Somewhere, far away,
Is that prince on his
White steed.
Judging by themud,
He must have bypassed
Reality.
Of course.

158. Do You Like It? (Originally written 6.20.02)
'Cause I'm sick of
Everything.
You, your words, your habits.
I just wish
Everything would be
Good again.
That ain't gonna happen,
Is it?

157. All For You (Originally written 6.19.02)
This smile is wrong--
I put it here
To make you happy.
I do'nt think it worked.
But at least you're not
Angry, any more.
That's always something.
Why is my life
Always sacrificed fo ryou?
Do I look like a sheep?

Note: This starts a series of Our Lady Peace song-titled poems. So what? I went on a kick and stuck with it. They do have five albums out now. O.o

156. Anticipation III (Originally written 6.18.02)
I ask myself--
Was it worth all the
Fretting and twitching?
The answer is simple--
Of course, silly.

155. Anticipation II (Originally written 6.17.02)
As fascinating as
My book may be,
Concentration is
Barely there.
Aimlessly tyring
To bide my time.
But
I
Can't!

154. Anticipation (Originally written 6.16.02)
I drum my fingers--
A rhythm strnage, but there.
I stare at the calendar--
It's still the same day?
Time must've stopped
Just to drive me
Up a wall.

153. Not Yet (Originally written 6.15.02)
Please, not so soon...
I fought to get here
And now you want it
Ripped away?
Luck is something
That abandoned
Me.

152. Ugh (Originally written 6.14.02)
Early morning light
Filters slowly through the blinds.
Grumbling, roll over.

151. Depression (Originally written 6.13.02)
It's painful to know
Your creation isn't loved.
So much work goes into
The simple motions to
Move the character,
To give it life,
To make it breathe.

Why are so many efforts
Left unappreciated?

150. ... (Originally written 6.12.02)
Some days,
It's the only thing
To say.
The only question is:
"How, exactly,
Does one
Pronounce '...'?"

149. Meh (Originally written 6.11.02)
An ego fit for
A king. well, how pathetic.
You think you're so great?

148. Blech (Originally written 6.10.02)
Think I'd rather not
Acknowledge I even know.
You are such a worm.

147. Shock (Originally written 6.9.02)
Sure, you expected it...
Well, sorta.
A niggling doubt,
Somewhere inside,
Hissing that you wouldn't
Make it.
But, surprisingly,
You did.
Something to be
Happy for.

146. Suspense (Originally written 6.8.02)
The suspense of waiting
For teh inevitable.
Waiting for something
You know is coming.
Something you want
Or something you dread.
Wanting is the worst
Part of it all.
Worst because you want to know
But you also are terrified...
Knowing would change everything--
You would know...

145. Break from Monotony (Originally written 6.7.02)
Sure, this is all monotonous...
But now that's changed.
It's a different kind of
Monotony now.
A better monotony?
Perhaps.
A more enjoyable monotony?
Definitely so.

144. late night silly (Originally written 6.6.02)
too late to be awake
too late to go to sleep
why do this to yourself
when you'll regret it
the next day
but you can't help it
no matter how hard you try
it's almost addictive
you go to sleep
the same day you wake up
and teh question stands
is it today or tomorrow
or tomorrow or today

143. Another Haul (Originally written 6.5.02)
A leaning stack--
Too many, too quickly.
But it delights me to see
So muchunread.
How shall I savor you?
Which to read first?
And wha twill I do
When you
Run dry?

142. Lemon (Originally written 6.4.02)
Citris fruit,
Stinging to the taste.
Pardon me while I giggle--
Is it meant
To b eamusing?

141. What a Haul (Originally written 6.3.02)
Un-touched beauties,
Stlil shiny and new
From a recent release
From captivity.
Each holds a new world--
A place I've missed
Before now.
Excitement tingles
As I open the first...
The nice smell of
Thick
Black
Ink.

140. Complete (Originally written 6.2.02)
It's over,
It's gone--
It's finished
For god.
Captured between
Crimson covers
Are my memories.
But...
That's all that
I really need.

139. silly tired (Originally written 6.1.02)
i don't think i've slept
in teh last 72 hours...
did i?
maybe my pillow knows...
but when i hit him,
he doesn't reply.
stuffy pillow.
at least have
some courtesy.
hee...

138. Goodbye (Originally written 5.31.02)
I don't think I'll miss you,
Goodbye,
And I won't see you soon.
Your halls are narrow--
Too full of rushing people.
Goodbye,
ANd I wont' even miss you.
You have plenty to fill you--
You won't miss me.

Goodbye.

137. Spring Flower (Originally written 5.30.02)
A bud peering out
From the dirty, soggy ground.
Color in drab world.

136. Leaf (Originally written 5.29.02)
You're green in the spring,
But golden in the autumn.
Money all seasons.

135. AP English Delinquints (Originally written 5.28.02)
See them?
Pouring into the halls--
They overcrowd,
Strolling along.
No real destination,
Just walking.
Watch out--
They have heavy
Reading material...
And are known
To move in groups.

134. Early Morning (Originally written 5.27.02)
Light sun,
Pouring over mountains--
Gold dancing over
The very land.
Too bad
You can't mine it.

133. Backwards World (Originally written 5.26.02)
We live in
A backwards world.
Reading the wrong way,
Walking the wrong way.
Even our names
Are backwards.

132. Rath (Originally written 5.25.02)
Carefree attitude,
Despite the danger.
Danger waiting around teh corner.
You flash a smile--
Dazzling--
And save the day.

131. Sunburn (Originally written 5.24.02)
Crinkly red skin hurts
Under bright rays of the sun.
I really despise.

130. Pessimists vs. Optimists (Originally written 5.23.02)
IT's a tedious duel.
The optimists declare,
"Pessimists will go to hell!"
Well, the pessimists
Are expecting this.
So they aren't surprised,
While the optimists,
Who were positive of their position,
Did nothing to prepare.

129. Neko (Originally written 5.22.02)

i. Neko-sama
Think the world is yours,
But we all know much better.
Pompous ball of fluff.

ii. Kawaii Neko
Reserved for when you
Want something from a person.
Can't say no to you.

iii. Baka Neko
Not everyone is,
Perfect, you clumsy silly.
Is your head of wood?

iv. Yokai Neko
I see that gleam in
Your eyes. Don't try to bite me.
I know you want to.

128. Feather (Originally written 5.21.02)
Drifting down without
Any attachment at all.
A lonely snowflake.

127. Nearing (Originally written 5.20.02)
The end--it is soon coming.
Every hour, just one step closer.
Soon I'll not need to return,
Soon it'll be but memories.
Probably memories
I do my best to forget.
I'm not sad
To go.

126. Beyond this Cover (Originally written 5.19.02)
Beyond this cover
Lies uncharted waters
Or land yet to be discovered.
You've never seen this place before--
It's something new.
Something thrilling.
The glossy cover
Hides it all,
Only giving a small hint
To what is hidden beyond.

125. Happiness (Originally written 5.18.02)
It's merely a word--
A label for something else.
It's not understood.

124. Stars (Originally written 5.17.02)
Twinkling above--
Intangible but loved.
Please--come down to me.

123. Midnight Cricket (Originally written 5.16.02)
The midnight cricket.
A song tears through silent night,
Leaving it broken.

122. Song (Originally written 5.15.02)
Voice thrilling high notes,
Teasing gorgeous melodies.
Beauty surrounds me.

121. Back-tracking (Originally written 5.14.02)
Trying to catch up
WIth those forgotten things.
Makes me wonder
What went wrong in the first place.
To make me stop,
To make me have to
Go back.

120. Darling (Originally written 5.13.02)
Darling you.
You who watches.
Watches me with green eyes.
Eyes that show you care.
Care about me.
Me who loves you.
You who loves me back.
Back to when I met you.
You darling.

119. Sands of Time (Originally written 5.12.02)
Wasn't it just yesterday?
Bare-kneed, scraped, but smiling.
Rolly-polly in my hand,
Delighted by my catch.
Well, tha'ts all fleeting...
But a memory,
Remembered for too long.

Dont' let me forget.

118. Rain (Originally written 5.11.02)
So needed--
Please rain,
This parched soul needs
You.
Wash away my pain,
Wash away my feeling,
Leave an empty husk
To dry;
An empty husk
To regenerate,
Over time.

117. No Reply (Originally written 5.10.02)
The recored voice--
Decades old--
Cuts through my restraing
(What is left).
No one answers...
Does ayone care?
Or will I eternally receive
No reply?

116. It Starts (Originally written 5.9.02)
Much begins, when not wanted--
Harsh beginings,
Jerky like a
Robot in need of oil.

But...
When does
It end?

115. You (Originally written 5.8.02)
Unlike most,
You say what I need--
Not to make me feel better
(Well, maybe that's part of it),
But because you mean it.
Your sincerity
Means so much.

114. Ranma (Originally written 5.7.02)
Another fight,
More stupid words.
Just like a typical guy--
Oafish and clumsy with words.

Do you ever know what to say?

113. Attempt (Originally written 5.6.02)
Will it work?
My half-baked attempt,
Only given partial energy?
Will I succeed,
Or will it all flop down?
Flop donw like useless dolls--
No animation,
No strings--
No one there to move them.

I do hope.
Sometimes.

112. Feathers (Originally written 5.5.02)
It's a feeling of freedom,
Like floating on the wind--
Nothing to catch you,
Except yourself.

But I don't
want to be caught.
I love this floating,
This freedom.

Let me stay here...
If only a little longer.

111. Same Old (Originally written 5.4.02)
Seen this before--
This class, this book.
It's that same routine--
The one I do in my sleep.
Don't think it'll end,
Hope it won't be bad.
But it's all the same.
The same old
Routine.
God, I'd love
For something different.

110. Perpetual Boredom (Originally written 5.3.02)
Pushing things back
To take care of
The more "important" things.
Dreary, day after day,
Of something
I don't want to do.
Better things wait--
But will I ever get
To them?

109. Study (Originally written 5.2.02)
Eyes still gritty from
Staying up too late last night.
Will this never end?

108. Nearing Doom (Originally written 5.1.02)
For it cometh,
Green insert in hand,
Waiting to strike--
Foolish, to punish
Yourself so wrong.
Menancing pencils and pens.

Beware the bubble sheets,
For they spell "Doom."

107. Tryptich (Originally written 4.30.02)
i.
The Bird glances around--
Nervously, suspicious--
Waiting for the moment.
It springs.

ii.
Ruined, broken husk,
Lying amid small greenery.
Forgotten under
New growth.

iii.
The squirrel leaps,
Twists in the air.
It lands on a branch;
Graceful.

106. Forgetting (Originally written 4.29.02)
It's so easy--
Pile it under books,
Under priorities.
You forget and
You don't need to worry.

Remember is
The killer.

105. Perfection (Originally written 4.28.02)
Maybe I'm not perfect,
Not even in my dreams.
Maybe I'm not great,
Not even in my mind.
Maybe I'm not special,
Not even to myself.
But as long as I mean something,
In your eyes,
I just may be
Perfect.

Blech. Utter crap, this one, ne? Sounds like some angsty, rhyming garbage... Oh, well.

104. Smile (Originally written 4.27.02)
You crack a slow smile;
A smile that reachers your eyes.
It is returned full.

103. Tree (Originally written 4.26.02)
ONce you stood above
The small trees in teh forest.
Bookshelf made of wood.

102. Rain (Originally written 4.25.02)
The rain drips slowly,
From cloudy sky to green earth.
A flower blooms red.

101. Jazzy Mess (Originally written 4.24.02)
The harsh,
Yet melodic,
Sounds.
Playful yet forceful.
Commands movement.

100. Sucks Syntax (Originally written 4.23.02)
You are today how?
Fine is relatively I.
Words jumbed the are.
Understand you do?

99. Harmonica (Originally written 4.22.02)
You speak of woe,
Or some foolish msitake.
But,
I don't understand...
Much.

98. Memories (Originally written 4.21.02)
Tha tday
Forgotten...

Shattered amid
Color.

Black. White.
Spliced.

Not so
Brilliant,

But it
Remains.

There. In
Memory.

97. Tears (Originally written 4.20.02)
The words don't flow--
They refuse
To exit.
The tears rain down my cheeks,
But they seem to do no good.

Salty water for parched lips.

96. Wo Ai Ni (Originally written 4.19.02)
But how can I ever tell you?
You would never understand.
Preoccupied with your own life,
Too blind to see that I'm
Not happy living mine.
Every day, you send
Another dagger into
My heart--
It can't hold many more.

95. Aubade Villanelle
Light pours through the night,
Scattering the dark;
A lovely sight.

The moon is dim in her high
Perch, almost art.
Light pours through the night.

The sun is a small dot
Behind mountains dark;
A lovely sight.

The sun begins its fight
To take its part.
Light pours through the night.

And the mountains give the right
Of showing its mark.
A lovely sight.

And now I know everything is right--
Life isn't that stark.
Light pours through the night;
A lovely sight.

94. Weather
And here I thought it
Was Spring. Silly me.
Snow says it is not.

93. Darkness... (Originally written 4.16.02)
It's almost surprising
How quickly a man
Can be twisted
To utter darkness.
Greed,
Lust.
It's not much.
So weak.

92. Computer (Originally written 4.15.02)
I stare at the screen,
My eyes becoming fuzzy.
I'm on it too late.